More from the Manifesto.
See original posts here and here. This is still but a small chunk of the full text... These little ideas and affirmations are written as Me talking to Myself, so please don't read condescension or ego into them. They are things that I am working on, not things that I'm actually telling anyone else they Should do. If you're inspired, I hope it's to come up with your own manifesto, not listen to little me. Heart.
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Be healthy and reasonable. I am a firm believer in ‘overdoing it’ – occasionally. So called benders, all nighters, and codependent relationships have comprised a good chunk of my favorite memories and best times. However, don’t underestimate the less exciting joys in life – days where you feel clear-headed, well-rested, and you can breathe deeply. Running without having to catch your breath is one of the best things in the word. The occasional spell of living balls-to-the-wall is taking advantage of life; taking your body for granted is wasting it. Being tired, hungover, regretful, and aching is not carpe diem. Morning can be just as special as nights. Not drinking can be just as fun as drinking. Things that can be a lot more fun than parties include swimming, sleeping outside, and spending a day laying under the sun.
& drink water, as much as you can. It will make you feel better than coffee in the morning, it will keep your insides happy, and it will occasionally, like magic, remind you of how just special and lucky you are to be alive on this planet.
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Share beauty. Be like the grandmothers who send newspaper clippings about movies to their film student grandkids. Keep your home stocked with blank CDs and postage stamps. When you hear a song that reminds you of someone, play it for them. When you read a poem that rearranges your insides, mail it to all of your friends who’ve moved away. If a stranger sees you drawing a picture and compliments it, give it to them. Don’t let ambitious ideas about delivery keep you from passing on small joys. Tell jokes that made you laugh. Lend out movies that make you feel high. Bake cookies. Give away stuff you don’t use that someone else can. It’s the best rule from kindergarden: share. It makes everything more fun.
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An informal study shows that these are the things that people talk about at parties and bars: TV shows (either synopsizing ‘good shows’ that are out now, or for the more elite, reminiscing about shows we all watched as children), romantic relationships – usually other people’s and usually in a fairly shallow way, music – usually other people’s and usually in a fairly shallow way (‘I know this band and you do too’ as opposed to how songs or sounds make us feel), work – almost always negative, and how drunk/fucked-up/tired/wired they are. My suggestion is that you force yourself, as much as you possibly can, to talk about something else. Talk about your favorite birds, talk about interesting places you’ve seen and what made them different from here, talk about the worst haircut you’ve ever had, talk about death, talk about coffee, talk about sex, make original jokes (quoting ‘The Big Lebowski’ is almost never funny anymore, I’m sorry to say), or even try something other than talking: drawing, dancing, or playing a game. Obviously the topics mentioned come up so often for a reason – they’re easy things to discuss in a diverse range of (white alternative twenty something) people… but I’m starting to get déjà vu. All the time.
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Never be depressed at a wedding. Allow yourself to be happy for others instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t compare your life to your friend’s lives. Not only will it almost inevitably lead to self-deprecation, it’s also unfair to your friends. Happiness can come from lots of places, and if you only allow it to occur when something ‘good’ happens to you, you’re being a selfish jerk. Additionally, you have no idea what other people’s life and situations really are in any kind of detail. Comparisons often = be careful what you wish for. That skinny girl with big boobs on the arm of the boy you think is neat? She probably envies your confidence and creativity. Maybe she’s jealous of your easy, fun relationship with her dude. Maybe she thinks that your haircut is a lot cooler than hers. Point is that both of you would be a lot happier, and maybe even become friends, if you weren’t thinking about yourselves in relation to someone else.
-
Don’t rely on the internet (read: face/space) to get to know people. This often leads to making the High Fidelity mistake and assuming that what people like is more important than what they’re like. Sure, it’s fun to notice that a boy you like shares the same taste in movies as you, but in reality it’s next to meaningless. Everyone hears, reads, sees, and likes things differently and for different reasons – and those reasons, which are impossible to summarize on a website, are what make people unique and amazing. There are thousands if not millions of people in the world who have the exact same favorite book as you. What makes you interesting is the why. It’s much more signifying to play a song for someone and see if they care to pay attention and if they have anything interesting to say about it than it is to simply note that they like the ‘right’ songs. It’s also fun to learn new things about people as you spend time with their actual faces. It’s a lot less fun to already know everything they might be excited to tell you about. Lastly, and I say this as a very enthusiastic and overt lover of lists and surveys: keep in mind that people are infinitely more complicated than any set of questions and answers. Studying someone’s myspace profile obsessively not only takes a lot of the fun surprises out of getting to know them, it can also lead to an unfortunate faux-familiarity that can lead you to be disappointed by what should be their actually much more exciting authentic self.
..
Be healthy and reasonable. I am a firm believer in ‘overdoing it’ – occasionally. So called benders, all nighters, and codependent relationships have comprised a good chunk of my favorite memories and best times. However, don’t underestimate the less exciting joys in life – days where you feel clear-headed, well-rested, and you can breathe deeply. Running without having to catch your breath is one of the best things in the word. The occasional spell of living balls-to-the-wall is taking advantage of life; taking your body for granted is wasting it. Being tired, hungover, regretful, and aching is not carpe diem. Morning can be just as special as nights. Not drinking can be just as fun as drinking. Things that can be a lot more fun than parties include swimming, sleeping outside, and spending a day laying under the sun.
& drink water, as much as you can. It will make you feel better than coffee in the morning, it will keep your insides happy, and it will occasionally, like magic, remind you of how just special and lucky you are to be alive on this planet.
-
Share beauty. Be like the grandmothers who send newspaper clippings about movies to their film student grandkids. Keep your home stocked with blank CDs and postage stamps. When you hear a song that reminds you of someone, play it for them. When you read a poem that rearranges your insides, mail it to all of your friends who’ve moved away. If a stranger sees you drawing a picture and compliments it, give it to them. Don’t let ambitious ideas about delivery keep you from passing on small joys. Tell jokes that made you laugh. Lend out movies that make you feel high. Bake cookies. Give away stuff you don’t use that someone else can. It’s the best rule from kindergarden: share. It makes everything more fun.
-
An informal study shows that these are the things that people talk about at parties and bars: TV shows (either synopsizing ‘good shows’ that are out now, or for the more elite, reminiscing about shows we all watched as children), romantic relationships – usually other people’s and usually in a fairly shallow way, music – usually other people’s and usually in a fairly shallow way (‘I know this band and you do too’ as opposed to how songs or sounds make us feel), work – almost always negative, and how drunk/fucked-up/tired/wired they are. My suggestion is that you force yourself, as much as you possibly can, to talk about something else. Talk about your favorite birds, talk about interesting places you’ve seen and what made them different from here, talk about the worst haircut you’ve ever had, talk about death, talk about coffee, talk about sex, make original jokes (quoting ‘The Big Lebowski’ is almost never funny anymore, I’m sorry to say), or even try something other than talking: drawing, dancing, or playing a game. Obviously the topics mentioned come up so often for a reason – they’re easy things to discuss in a diverse range of (white alternative twenty something) people… but I’m starting to get déjà vu. All the time.
-
Never be depressed at a wedding. Allow yourself to be happy for others instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t compare your life to your friend’s lives. Not only will it almost inevitably lead to self-deprecation, it’s also unfair to your friends. Happiness can come from lots of places, and if you only allow it to occur when something ‘good’ happens to you, you’re being a selfish jerk. Additionally, you have no idea what other people’s life and situations really are in any kind of detail. Comparisons often = be careful what you wish for. That skinny girl with big boobs on the arm of the boy you think is neat? She probably envies your confidence and creativity. Maybe she’s jealous of your easy, fun relationship with her dude. Maybe she thinks that your haircut is a lot cooler than hers. Point is that both of you would be a lot happier, and maybe even become friends, if you weren’t thinking about yourselves in relation to someone else.
-
Don’t rely on the internet (read: face/space) to get to know people. This often leads to making the High Fidelity mistake and assuming that what people like is more important than what they’re like. Sure, it’s fun to notice that a boy you like shares the same taste in movies as you, but in reality it’s next to meaningless. Everyone hears, reads, sees, and likes things differently and for different reasons – and those reasons, which are impossible to summarize on a website, are what make people unique and amazing. There are thousands if not millions of people in the world who have the exact same favorite book as you. What makes you interesting is the why. It’s much more signifying to play a song for someone and see if they care to pay attention and if they have anything interesting to say about it than it is to simply note that they like the ‘right’ songs. It’s also fun to learn new things about people as you spend time with their actual faces. It’s a lot less fun to already know everything they might be excited to tell you about. Lastly, and I say this as a very enthusiastic and overt lover of lists and surveys: keep in mind that people are infinitely more complicated than any set of questions and answers. Studying someone’s myspace profile obsessively not only takes a lot of the fun surprises out of getting to know them, it can also lead to an unfortunate faux-familiarity that can lead you to be disappointed by what should be their actually much more exciting authentic self.
posted by summer anne burton at
7:34 PM
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