Wan Fu, Too!

So, last week Larissa and I ordered a ton of food from local resteraunt Wan Fu Too (open till 3 am!). We were really excited about our new house but the oven hadn't been replaced yet, so our food order was large and in charge, including two main dishes (at Wan Fu their entrees could easily feed four) and fried spring rolls (yes!) I gave Rissa my credit card to pay for our $30 of good eatin'.

Jeff came over to watch up eat and hang out in our house, which is a lovely place to be with or without awesome chinese food. We were excited! An hour passed and our food hadn't come, but the Wan Fu person had told Riss it would be awhile. A knock came. I answered the door and Larissa and Jeff tuned out, assuming I was TCB.

I blinked at the person at our door, a skinny older guy wearing running shorts with a tiny weird dog on a leash. He blinked back. "I ate your food." I was confused. "What?" "Is this [our address]?" I nodded, still unsure of what was going on. "I live across the street." He pointed vaguely at the weird housing complex across from us that has plastic kid's furniture stapled to the outside wall. "They delivered your food to me and I ate it. I shared it with my neighbors. But they charged it to your card." He paused. My brow was intensely furrowed, trying to process what he was saying. "You ate our food?" "Yeah." I was really weirded out by this dude and I'm not very good with confrontation, so after a few awkward seconds I just waved in front of my face, as if batting flies of how FUCKING WEIRD this situation was and I told him it was okay. Now he looked confused. He handed me the credit card receipt."I came here to pay you back."

This is part of this story that is hard for me to explain, but put yourself in my shoes for a moment. This guy is totally freaking me out. There's clearly something wrong with him and he wasn't doing anything with his hands to indicate he actually had money to pay me back with. He was wearing shorts with no pockets. Clearly he didn't actually mean what he was saying, and I didn't want to look at him anymore. "Oh, well, that's okay..."

He glared at me "I'm TRYING to do the HONORABLE thing here!"

I wanted to say that the honorable thing would have been not to eat our food, but I kept my mouth shut. "Really, don't worry about it. I'll figure something out." I tried to close the door, but he interrupted "I'll cook you chinese food sometime."

I closed the door.

Larissa and Jeff turned, confused about why I wasn't holding mountains of fried rice. I explained, and they were understandably incensed. I tried to explain why I wouldn't 'let' dude pay me back (because he clearly couldn't or wouldn't even though he offered) and we decided to call Wan Fu and tell them we never got our food. When Riss called, the girl knew exactly who we were.

"Yeah, apparently your food accidentally got delievered to your neighbor and he, um, ate it, and then he, um, called us to tell us that he ate it. Which is weird."

They remade it and delivered it minutes later.

I haven't seen our food thief since.