"hordes of baby penguins"

I'm reading this book called Wide Eyed by Trinie Dalton. It was a random choice; a customer ordered it and I liked the cover and the sentences I read when I flipped it open, so I ordered it and bought it yesterday. I chose it over a bunch of other amazing books I had on hold because I asked Margaret which one I should buy and she flipped Wide Eyed open and read

"Dear Human,
Thank you for assuming elves are literate!"

We were both sold. Anyway, it's an amazing book and y'all should seek it out. It's like if Gabriel Garcia Marquez was born 25 years ago and listened to a lot of Sonic Youth. Or it's like Francesca Lia Block if Tori Amos never existed. Or it's like Jonathan Safran Foer but with a lot more kittens and horror movies. Or it's like nothing I've ever read, and it makes me want to write more than anything I've read in a long time. Here are a couple excerpts that will explain this book better than I can...

"There's something evil about a world in which I can think of a hundred jobs I'd like, and none of them will support me. Puppy rancher, wild mushroom collector, designer of fantasy postal stamps, incense critic. I'd like to run a sticker museum, where I'd curate shows: The History of Scratch and Sniffs, or Great Designs: Stars and Rainbows. But who would come?"

I used to play a lot of Burgertime. I was living by myself in the Mojave Desert, and coyotes had just eaten my cat. Burgertime is a Nintendo game where the player is Chef Pepper, best burger-maker in the world. Chef Pepper positions buns so that lettuce, tomatoes, and yellow cheese will fall onto them from outer space. Since the game design is so primitive, the ingredients are chunky and squared and the colors are flat. The lettuce doesn't have the real thing's multiple shades of green. The buns are solid brown, and their rounded edges look zigzaggy, as if they're cross-stitched. Since Burgertime is my favorite video game, I sometimes think I should embroider a quilt covered with hamburgers and Chef Pepper's arch villians: Mr. Hot Dog, Mr. Pickle, and Mr. Egg. Quilts are also useful weapons in the fight againt loneliness.

It's honestly not all as cutesy as that. There's a lot of death and sex and fur and blood and sadness, but (just like real life) there are also unicorns and dinner parties. Wide Eyed. Trinie Dalton. Read it up!

Hello.

It is pouring rain for the third day in a row. Sunday night, Patrick and Larissa and I ran down Red River screaming and soaked and it was one of those times where you feel like you're in a movie directed by John Hughes. Now I am just sitting at Cafe Caffeine (stupid name, cute place) and listening to The Weakerthans on my ipod and staring at the rain and trying to decide what I have to say that could possibly interest you.

I have really fond memories of thunderstorms in Austin, and whenever one happens now I get the kind of nostalgia that gives me goosebumps all over my arm. I want to just lay in bed with the covers over my head and listen to the thunder crash straight into my nervous system.

I've had a really weird and difficult and emotional week for a lot of reasons I certainly don't feel like explaining here. But suffice to say my week has included: sleeping way too long for a normal person, crying in the manager's office, and screaming in Patrick's ear at Sidebar. It's been really hard to not cut my hair (my automatic defense mechanism for bad times).

Things I am grateful for when things are rough:
- My house.
- Braedyn and Larissa.
- Patrick.
- Margaret.
- My parents.
- Everyone else.
- Double iced mochas.
- Breakfast tacos.
- Mixtapes filled with sad songs.

Anyone got a mix CD theme for me? Kester, I'm working on your songs like photographs mix, again. It's been difficult to finish; I think I've been overambitious about it. I made a CD for some of our family friends titled "The New Classic" -- it's music made in the last ten years by people of (more or less) my generation that I hope will define 'my' time for my kids and their kids.

Here's the tracklist:
First Day Of My Life - Bright Eyes
Major Leagues - Pavement
There's Too Much Love - Belle & Sebastian
Wake Up - The Arcade Fire
Hey Ya! - Outkast
Rainbows In The Dark - Tilly And The Wall
Jackeyed - Micah P. Hinson
With Arms Outstretched - Rilo Kiley
A Passing Afternoon - Iron & Wine
Come Pick Me Up - Ryan Adams
Waltz # 2 - Elliott Smith
Good Woman - Cat Power
Monument - Mirah
Lost Cause - Beck
The Book of Love - The Magnetic Fields
Red Right Ankle - The Decemberists
War Criminal Rises & Speaks - Okkervil River
She's A Jar - Wilco
I'll Be Yr Bird - M. Ward
In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel

when i'm sad, all i have to do is go to flickr and look at the best / prettiest / funniest / most heartbreaking photos in the world, taken by my friends and completely random strangers. my favorites!! this is a little mosaic of the ones that kill me the most, from the last 20 pages or so. I would like to note that there are two pictures of Dakota Smith's dog Roxy included here.



1. Tilly And The Wall - Bar Academy Birmingham 25.02.07, 2. bun bun, 3. february self, 4. Paperbag Writer, 5. redbird #9, 6. yay!, 7. just a handful, 8. Untitled, 9. just my favorite., 10. Gidget on the sofa, 11. May I kiss you?, 12. "Tapirs of The World" Cross Stitch, 13. Untitled, 14. bestest., 15. dearest., 16. Will Robinson Sheff, 17. Kit, 18. my dad's masterpiece, 19. Jackie, left, and Kezia at Flipnotics, 20. alice the coquette, 21. sarah michelle., 22. Snarl?, 23. oh deer, 24. love exists, 25. dang., 26. it was raining earlier, 27. Pure love, 28. evan's cute looks, 29. at the info desk., 30. carolyn., 31. Summer and Josh, 32. do you wanna run with my pack..., 33. Tiny dog, 34. Aaaah! Oh my god. Yes., 35. this is the face that made me love cats., 36. he really is that interesting.

Created with fd's Flickr Toys.

Pass.

I had a debate a couple days ago that made me revisit some thoughts I've had before about celebrities and artists -- musicians, specifically -- and the expectations that people have of them. I always find myself on the side of this debate where I am defending an artists right to basically act however they want. I'm not much for accusations of 'selling out' and I'm especially disinterested in analyzing any celebrity's behavior towards their fans. I don't really think that choosing to make art means that you should have some special responsibility that the rest of us don't have to go out of your way for everyone who wants a piece of your time. For larger celebrities, or just musicians with especially rabid fans, giving everybody what they want is literally impossible, much less something they should feel obligated to do.

Our debate revolved around a local musician who I'm good terms with, but who I've been told dozens of times is "actually" a pretentious asshole, based on their second or third hand anecdotes, or on the way people think he comes across in interviews. My argument is actually two-fold. One part of my problem is that I don't really care if he IS a pretentious asshole. It wouldn't affect my perception of what a good songwriter, singer, and performer I think he is whatsoever. The other part of my problem is that the person in question has had plenty of opportunities to be a pretentious asshole to me or in front of me, or at the very least ignore me or be indifferent, but instead he has always been exceedingly pleasant, accomodating, and sweet -- going out of his way on many occasions to make me feel appreciated and more like a friend than a fan, even though I am clearly a completely obsessive freak about him and his band. I don't think it's unreasonable or biased to think that my own personal experience counts for more (for me) than some vague story someone heard once about him being a jerk.

It's funny because the former argument, that I don't care if the musicians I love are jerks, is something I believe to be true but have never really had the chance to test. I like plenty of musicians who have nasty reputations but every interaction I've ever had with them has been nothing but sweetness and light. Conor Oberst laughed at my jokes and hugged me and all my friends when he had plenty of blonder girls waiting to kiss his feet, or drugs to do, or U.S. States to offend, or whatever... But, you know, I wouldn't really care if he HAD just walked past us instead. I honestly believe that it doesn't matter to me much. Lots of people like to point out to me this one time that Conor was asked in an interview whether or not he used the internet to communicate with his fans and he said that he didn't really care about communicating with fans. And my reaction to that is to laugh. And I don't think it's crazy or mean or terrible of him to say. No one has enough time to communicate with their friends, much less hundreds of thousands of adoring teenagers. All he's supposed to do is write good songs. And, actually, if he wants to stop doing that and start teaching elementary school again, whatever. I'll miss the songs but I won't think he's a jerk. Why must we hold musicians to standards that we don't hold anyone else to?

Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling. But I'm interested in other people's opinions about whether or not they believe all the stories about so-and-so being terrible and whether or not they would care if it was true. What kind of obligations to musicians have to be nicer than the rest of us? And if they're not, does it affect the way you hear their music? How much do you factor stories you've heard about someone into your perception of them? Is just ignoring your fanbase okay if you're making amazing music?

Because there is nothing i like to do more...

than picture myself stranded on a desert island. And write lists about music. And bore you to death.

Inspired by Kester and Grainer and my entire life.

Edited and in order since I posted it as a comment. So if you think I should only get five or ten or eighteen, you can just trim them from the bottom. Sexy!

Twenty Five Albums for me and my island:
1. Neutral Milk Hotel - In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
2. Paul Simon - Graceland
3. Bob Dylan - Blood On The Tracks
4. Joni Mitchell - Blue
5. Bright Eyes - Lifted Or The Story's In The Soil, Keep Your Ear To The Ground
6. The Beatles - Abbey Road
7. Van Morrison - Astral Weeks
8. Okkervil River - Down The River Of Golden Dreams
9. Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
10. Ryan Adams - Heartbreaker
11. Rilo Kiley - The Execution Of All Things
12. The Arcade Fire - Funeral
13. Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
14. Nanci Griffith - The Flyer
15. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
16. Bob Dylan - The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan
17. One Kiss Can Lead To Another box set of girl groups (I'm now counting this as one, even though it's four discs, because I love cheating)
18. Okkervil River - Black Sheep Boy
19. The Beatles - White Album
20. Elliott Smith - Elliott Smith
21. Iron & Wine - Our Endless Numbered Days
22. The Velvet Underground - Loaded
23. Nirvana - Nevermind
24. Cat Power - Moon Pix
25. Mazzy Star - Among My Swan

Albums I feel really weird and overly sad about leaving out even though 25 seems like a lot:
Neil Young - Tonight's The Night
Tilly And The Wall - Bottoms of Barrels
M. Ward - Transfiguration of Vincent
Micah P. Hinson - And The Opera Circuit
Willie Nelson - Redhead Stranger
All the other Bright Eyes, Wilco, and Okkervil albums.
Several other Bob Dylan and Beatles and Paul Simon albums.
Tom Waits - Blood Money
Belle and Sebastian - Tigermilk
Shearwater - Winged Life
Nick Drake - Pink Moon
Mirah - You Think It's Like This But It's Really Like This
Bjork - Debut
The Decemberists - Castaways and Cutouts
Beck - Sea Change
Lucinda Williams - Car Wheels On A Gravel Road

Because obviously you care.

Songs I've Been Listening To On Repeat For The Last Two Weeks:

Bob Dylan - Tonight I'll Be Staying Here With You*
(this is seriously one of the sexiest songs of all time. i'm very pleased with conor for reminding me of it via mixology.)
The Long Winters - The Commander Thinks Aloud*
(pretty, pretty.)
Micah P. Hinson - Don't Leave Me Now!
(heartbreaking. every week i have a new favorite micah song.)
Okkervil River - Love To A Monster
(probably the most brilliant and mean and sad breakup song that's been written in my lifetime.)
The Supremes - When The Lovelight Starts Shining In Your Eyes
(makes me shake and clap and freak out in the heartparts.)
Bright Eyes - Tourist Trap
(dusty and pretty. i'm not that into the rest of the four winds ep, but this song gets better every time i listen to it.)

* courtesy Conor's mix CD. <3

Wan Fu, Too!

So, last week Larissa and I ordered a ton of food from local resteraunt Wan Fu Too (open till 3 am!). We were really excited about our new house but the oven hadn't been replaced yet, so our food order was large and in charge, including two main dishes (at Wan Fu their entrees could easily feed four) and fried spring rolls (yes!) I gave Rissa my credit card to pay for our $30 of good eatin'.

Jeff came over to watch up eat and hang out in our house, which is a lovely place to be with or without awesome chinese food. We were excited! An hour passed and our food hadn't come, but the Wan Fu person had told Riss it would be awhile. A knock came. I answered the door and Larissa and Jeff tuned out, assuming I was TCB.

I blinked at the person at our door, a skinny older guy wearing running shorts with a tiny weird dog on a leash. He blinked back. "I ate your food." I was confused. "What?" "Is this [our address]?" I nodded, still unsure of what was going on. "I live across the street." He pointed vaguely at the weird housing complex across from us that has plastic kid's furniture stapled to the outside wall. "They delivered your food to me and I ate it. I shared it with my neighbors. But they charged it to your card." He paused. My brow was intensely furrowed, trying to process what he was saying. "You ate our food?" "Yeah." I was really weirded out by this dude and I'm not very good with confrontation, so after a few awkward seconds I just waved in front of my face, as if batting flies of how FUCKING WEIRD this situation was and I told him it was okay. Now he looked confused. He handed me the credit card receipt."I came here to pay you back."

This is part of this story that is hard for me to explain, but put yourself in my shoes for a moment. This guy is totally freaking me out. There's clearly something wrong with him and he wasn't doing anything with his hands to indicate he actually had money to pay me back with. He was wearing shorts with no pockets. Clearly he didn't actually mean what he was saying, and I didn't want to look at him anymore. "Oh, well, that's okay..."

He glared at me "I'm TRYING to do the HONORABLE thing here!"

I wanted to say that the honorable thing would have been not to eat our food, but I kept my mouth shut. "Really, don't worry about it. I'll figure something out." I tried to close the door, but he interrupted "I'll cook you chinese food sometime."

I closed the door.

Larissa and Jeff turned, confused about why I wasn't holding mountains of fried rice. I explained, and they were understandably incensed. I tried to explain why I wouldn't 'let' dude pay me back (because he clearly couldn't or wouldn't even though he offered) and we decided to call Wan Fu and tell them we never got our food. When Riss called, the girl knew exactly who we were.

"Yeah, apparently your food accidentally got delievered to your neighbor and he, um, ate it, and then he, um, called us to tell us that he ate it. Which is weird."

They remade it and delivered it minutes later.

I haven't seen our food thief since.